Tiny Phone; Big Change

How ditching my iPhone helped me re-awaken.

I have always been a fan of phones. Getting my first phone in 8th grade I quickly learned how to get ringtones, use the infrared, make funny voicemails and decorate the outside with stickers, cases and phone charms. Even at one point getting my phone ‘freaked’ at the mall where they take it apart and add LEDs all over it. When I got older I used the 30 day return policy to get a new phone every month. That was back when numerous companies made a myriad of phones. LG, Nokia, Sidekick, Samsung, Sony Ericson, Blackberry, Motorola the list went on and on. Endless shapes, sizes, functions, folding, flipping, spinning, tiny and tinier and even a miniature size of that one. At a time I had 3 phones. A Nokia, Sidekick 3 and a Boost Mobile Chirp. Quickly learned that was excessive when me and a friend with the same fascination as I, were charging 6 phones between two people, lol. I even caught a criminal case when I was 16 because, I needed the new Sidekick so bad, I robbed someone in their face for theirs! Needless to say, phones were more then a hobby but, an obsession. These tiny pieces of tech were fidgets for me, a personality, an ever changing landscape making me chase the next high of unboxing a new phone with a new ringtone, new wallpaper, a new reason to LIVE!

As time went on I saw the flatness of phone creativity rise. My last non-iPhone moment shown in the Bumpin Bumpin’ video as I yell 'Can u hear me bitch’. The past 2 Sidekicks failed me and they were pretty much out of business. Companies put out less and less options and my 30 day return policy turned into months with the same phone. In the blink of an eye it seemed to disappear all together. I had a career in its budding stage and my manager suggested I get an iPhone to get on Instagram for posting photos and connect with more fans. This was 2010, I guess I was a late adapter. I still enthralled by tactile buttons, flipping, slamming my phone closed after a successful conversation and the wonderful QWERTY keyboards but, I had to give it up. Though this new operating system that was smoother then a babies bottom, apps, huge screen, better camera and a touch response like no other phone has made yet. I was into this.

Long ago were the days of getting a new brand uniquely different then the last phone, phone. I and all were locked into the iPhone sphere. We all used this as a status symbol (to this day even) all other phones faded away. Goodbye BBM, Goodbye Nokia, Peace out Sidekick. They all tried to emulate the Apple formula which also had given into their inevitable death. My life moved on and I focused on making my iPhone as cool as possible with icon packs, themes, custom lock screens, and making ringtones. It never felt like things were moving into the future though. Seems I was buying the same phone over and over again. I felt like the walkie-talkie feature of Boost Mobile or the fidget type buttons and trackballs were still missing. If you didn’t have an iPhone there was something wrong with you. You weren’t a true mobile user and you were missing out something cutting edge.

Fast-forward to now, I couldn’t believe I’ve essentially had the same phone since 2010. Me? Someone who prided themselves on having a new phone every month. But, this was just the preface for what this nasty business has done. Not only have they capitally crushed every competition to nothing but, ghosts. They have crushed our mind and spirit as the future came faster and faster.

I started to become suspicious around 2018. The awareness of phone addiction was creeping in. I always chalked everything up to always loving tech, loving my computer, being a social media junky since the wondrous ping of an AIM message. But, I was noticing something more sinister going on. My iPhone had me by the balls. That screen, the scroll, the reason I kept buying the same phone over and over with promises of a better camera that just showed my pores clearer and clearer. Incoming short form content. It was fun, easy and quick. I didn’t see the harm. Hey! I could make it! We all can! and fast at that! Skipping past some chapters of life as we all did during Covid. Not realizing we were consuming more content then we ever could imagine in tenfold. Lazily swiping, shopping, watching and if you were smart enough creating as well (but with what inspiration Covid took it out of us that wasn’t very possible).

Here we are now. Listless shells of what we used to be. Craving what we once had. Watching reels and tiktoks about the 2000’s and 2010’s like those moments have been dead and buried. We have to succumb to our new lives. We must scroll, eat our doom and repeat. Minutes, Hours, Days, Years of our lives slipping away in a blur. Recently I saw a interview with FKA Twigs and on mic in her little voice asks “Where are all the thinkers?” the comment section littered with backlash claiming things like ‘we’re tired’ ‘we’re living in a capitalist society’ ‘we are working jobs all day’. I saw nothing but defeat and resignation. My first thought was ‘I wonder what everyone’s screen time is in this comment section.’ Surely great inventors, writers, creators also toiled away at regular jobs and had some kind of spare time to produce. With a full-time job AND 7 hours of screen time. How could you cultivate anything? I was no better, at this time I was clocking 6-10 hours a day on IG or Tiktok. Mindful about my mindless content consumption.

I’ve tried things like screen timers, hiding my phone, deleting apps, using even some magnet thing you tap your phone on to unlock it when you need it and even a phone LOCKBOX. Nothing worked. The pull of my phone was stronger then me. It had woven itself into my life like a bad crack addition and I wasn’t a functional crack addict at that. The days of drawing, painting, journaling, making music, reading, watching a movie, learning, even going outside were traded for hours of short form content ingestion with a tall glass of relentless ads on the side.

The algorithm was changing. It was turning against me. Feeding me this potion of self doubt, hate, abuse, disturbing thoughts and dark places. Waking up in the morning the first video you see is of a deadly car accident or animal abuse. A collage of your worst fears and biggest anxieties feeding on your self doubt once again mixed with ads. My ads were almost always for sexual abuse hotlines, lawyers doing mass lawsuits for assualts, abuse, rape and violence against women. Your uber driver, your teacher, your gym instructor, doctors, your guard in the women’s prison you never went to, some even just by name. Also, littered in there were ads for ketamine, tele-health therapists, SSRIS, any profit driven cures and Oh! a cute purse that I almost always end up buying. The algorithm took my most secret dismal parts of me and spit them in my face repeatedly. This all happening within a year. No wonder there are no thinkers. My mind is being violated in the most disgusting ways but, I still can’t seem to get off no matter what I did. I couldn’t stop extending toward it against my wishes.

I had enough. The algo was kicking my ass. I fawned for the days of being able to have an attention span, have an idea that wasn’t directly born from something I saw on Tiktok (that I never even end up doing). I was still craving TECH not CONSUMPTION. Finding and spending time on r/digitialminimalism and r/dumbphones and being jealous of everyone’s EDC (every-day-carry) photos. They had Mp3 players, digital cameras, journals, pens, watches, even a tamagotchi! I already have these things in tow but, I never using them. Realizing those days of 2000’s tech weren’t truly gone they were concealed by big tech. We traded them in a brainwash state for this iPhone which was quickly rearing its ugly head at society and taking away our will to be THINKERS!

some samples of people’s everyday carries that inspired me..

So.. now where was I.. Oh. My tiny phone. Finally! In August I got a Jelly Star by Unihertz. A 3inch android phone. Figuring the only way to get off my iPhone was to not have an iPhone. Whoa, and let me tell you some things I’ve learned. Firstly, my phone is really tiny, like tiny tiny, like more minuscule then phones I even had in my heydays of the best phone era. It’s smaller then a vape pen (which hilariously enough in public people confused ask me if I am texting on a vape pen.) Small screen means lower resolution, which means less entrancement. Yes, my phone has Instagram, I mean I am a niche micro internet celeb I can’t just fully disconnect with people reaching out on Instagram more then texting, emailing or calling. But, scrolling reels on there? Forget it. You can go about 5 minutes before your brain is dissatisfied with what’s going on and you put it down. Squinting my eyes at my tiny phone I go ‘hmph’ and put it to rest. With short form content really being the catalyst to my literal brain rot. Phone addiction withdrawal ensued. With a dependency level at 1000 it wasn’t easy.

I still grabbed and reached for something. Brain not receiving it’s daily slop on my 2622 pixel screen with a 460 refresh rate. I had nerfed my whole experience, my brain wasn’t receiving the same hits of dopamine anymore. I really realized that the content might not be the problem but also the delivery was. These phones have implemented themselves into our chemistry in a way that was more addictive then just the social mixed with entertainment aspects. All by design from some big tech people who are preying on our attention span. Every second we tune in is money for them. I wasn’t picking up my phone for no reason anymore. Shoot, I was actually completely forgetting I had a phone most times. No more taking pictures of anything I saw or screenshotting everything I came across. My intentions with my phone were clear and when I was done I put it down.

My mind was catching up slowly. This process took some time. Like I stated this was a deep connection, this was intertwined into my psyche. Withdrawal was real. I spent a lot of time making origami paper stars just to keep my hands and mind busy, double dosing my usual YouTube watch time with better, longer and more informative content and on my computer only. Slowly things were coming back. The thing was BOREDOM! What was considered your worst enemy. Before you could even think you were bored, you found yourself on your iPhone amused and gratified. With my phone out of the toolbox to cure boredom I had to start turning to other things again. Reading was always something I wanted to do again. I know it sounds ridiculous but seriously when have you ever read a book (Shit, if you made it this far then you basically are on your way!) I started with articles, opinion pieces, then mangas as for I am a weeb truly. Graduated from mangas to actual books. I stopped having my comfort shows on all day blissfully playing in the background while I scroll away. Now I’m watching movies I’ve never seen and sitting through them without being on my phone. Movies from the 80s, 70s, whenever! My attention span was crawling back to me. With this so was my creativity, I was craving making music, drawing, thinking of ideas from nothing and just sitting outside wondering looking at the world.

Hey! I even got the power to write this whole thing! Amazing. I am far from perfection though. Yes, I spend hours on my computer playing games, chatting on discord, watching YouTube. As well as writing, coding, making art, learning and having fun exploring the world wide web (not just cycling through the same 3 apps all day). Have I thrown out my iPhone? No! I still use it when I feel the urge to make a sped-up dance video, need an actual quality photo to promote something or when my friends miss me to the point I need a facetime them for a little. There is no mobile service on it. It stays home, tucked away, used as a TOOL. It spends mostly 6 days a week dead in a drawer somewhere. Do my friends HATE my green texts and the fact they can’t facetime me randomly throughout the day, YES! But, the rewards are clear.

I have turned a short story long here. Now, I have some peace in a world of chaos and those days of pining for a life without the iPhone brainwash are here for me NOW. I can still use social media, I can call an uber, I can even use tap to pay on my tiny phone! Unihertz has a great line of android based phones that are creative as hell and can keep up with me, someone who has many apps open at once switching back and fourth and a couple of good drops. Hey they even have a Blackberry dupe!

Wow! to wrap this up because honestly I can keep going. I have lots of other things I can divulge on like ways to create digital minimalism as a maximalist or tips and tricks to make your transition easier. I’ll leave it up to you guys to see what you want to hear more about. If you made it to the bottom here then I am happy for you and your intent and will to change your relationship with your phone. Huzzah!